Dear Alchemists,
In conversation with Malik (the divine masculine presence who has stood as my mirror and counterpart for six years, and the one I honor in the dedication of my book Alchemic Healings) a truth emerged with the clarity of a temple bell:
Awareness is a gift…but it can also become a burden if we turn it against ourselves.
As we grow spiritually, we develop language, insight, and clarity about our inner world. But sometimes, that very clarity becomes a new form of pressure.
A new standard to meet.
A subtle way of policing our own humanity.
Awareness was never meant to tighten around us.
It was meant to free us.
When Awareness Becomes Self-Punishment
You know the tone:
“I should be past this by now.”
“I know better.”
“I can’t believe I still feel like this.”
This is how the mind uses spiritual insight to create tension instead of tenderness. But here’s the truth:
**Meet yourself where you are. Walk with yourself, not ahead of yourself or against yourself.**
Your feelings are valid because they move through you.
Your thoughts are real because you experience them.
But neither feelings nor thoughts define who you are.
You are the awareness.. not the wave that passes through it. What do I mean by this? Every thought, feeling, or sensation is like a wave on the surface of the ocean. Some waves are small, some are large, some are turbulent, some are calm — but none of them change the essence of the ocean itself. More on this below.
Language Matters: “I Feel” vs. “I Am”
Our words shape our inner landscape.
“I am sad…”
“I am overwhelmed…”
“I am lonely…”
These phrases fuse identity with a temporary experience. Remember the wave does not impact the essence of the ocean.
Try shifting to:
“I feel sad.”
“I feel overwhelmed.”
“I feel lonely.”
Immediately, space opens.
You’re still present with yourself — but no longer fused with the feeling.
This is compassionate awareness.
ACIM on the Misuse of Judgment
A Course in Miracles speaks to this directly.
When the mind judges, it reenacts the psychological pattern of crucifixion…whether aimed at another or at oneself.
The line that best expresses this is:
“To crucify is to condemn.”
— A Course in Miracles, T-27.I.1
In ACIM, crucifixion isn’t physical. It’s the moment guilt is made real. And the invitation is always this:
“Teach only love, for that is what you are.”
— A Course in Miracles, T-6.I.13
Love dissolves guilt.
Love unhooks us from self-attack.
Love restores our innocence.
From Pressure to Presence
Instead of asking:
- “Why am I like this?”
- “Why is he acting this way?”
- “Why is this happening?”
Try asking:
- What’s true here?
- What is this moment showing me?
- What needs gentleness?
- Where can I bring light?
Inquiry replaces judgment.
Clarity replaces contraction.
Compassion replaces inner fracture (i.e. a split between who we are and what we feel or think).
Cultivating Conditions That Support Your Becoming
Growth unfolds in spaciousness, not constriction.
In warmth, not pressure.
Imagine what could shift if you allowed yourself to expand naturally…
If you honored your timing…
If you softened your approach…
If you held awareness as a lantern, not a spotlight…
Awareness becomes medicine when it walks with you – not against you.
So this month, I invite you to witness yourself with reverence.
Let your humanity breathe.
Let your experiences be experiences – not verdicts.
Let your emotional life inform you, not define you.
And above all…Move gently.
You deserve to be met with tenderness – especially by yourself.
Reflection Prompt
Today, whenever a thought arises that pressures or criticizes you, pause and say:
“I feel this. I am with this. I am not defined by this.”
Notice how simply witnessing yourself with awareness creates space, ease, and presence. Let this gentle practice guide you through your day.
Remember: you are the awareness, not the wave. Let compassion fill the spaces where judgment once lived. Step softly, breathe deeply, and allow love to lead the way.
With love, always,
Denise Perez
Author, Alchemic Healings: The Art of Remembering
Available on Amazon
Discover more from Alchemic Healings
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.